The Worm Funktastic

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The Worm Funktastic
Origin Nowhere
Titles The Worm Funktastic
Names none
Aspects Moth Winter Heart
Date of arrival circa 1000 C.E
Owner(s) Anaconda With Sword

The Worm Funktastic is the Twenty-Third Hour of the Fansus, created by Anaconda With Sword. It is a God-From-Nowhere, with aspects of Moth, Winter, and Heart in decreasing order of importance. The Worm Funktastic has never existed. The Worm Funktastic has always existed. It is time to get... funky.

Its tarot card is the Fool Reversed.



The Worm Funktastic appears as a pink and gold velvet worm, wearing a pair of glasses with smokey quartz lenses, and typically playing on a saxophone.


The Worm Funktastic is the Hour of Tchaikovsky, Van Gogh, and all those who attempt to create but find themselves clawing against the walls of their own shortcomings. It is the Hour of writer's block, and the opium-induced breakthrough. It is the Hour of a thousand musical notes that turn into cacophony when put to paper, and the opera written the day it is performed. It is the Hour of aspiring amateurs who feel spited and ignored by the masters of their arts, and desperate masters who find solace only in dreams. It is the spiteful muse, the unruly plot, and all things that end for their creators as they begin for those experiencing them.



The Arlesians, members of whom are called Carriers.


The Worm Funktastic has worshippers, but rarely regards them or shares its power. Those who desire to partake of its power must enter the Mansus and bargain with it in "person," an action which almost never succeeds.


After the Worm Funktastic consumes those who have died while part of its captive audience, the Spinebearers are born. These cannot be summoned. These should absolutely not be summoned.


The Arvicholinian Talmudist

An inhuman harmony, a divine melody; a truly groovy tune.
Aspects: Lantern12, Secret Histories12; Hebrew Teacher; Deceiver
Temptations: Lantern10, Winter2, Knock4

  Summon a solo operative of the Worm Funktastic:
  Supposedly, his final act involved a stringed performance within the Mansus that all noise within stopped so it could be heard clearly; we will need Winter to recreate that silence, but primarily Lantern to draw his attention.
  Transformed by his performance, the Talmudist has become bonded with the multi-stringed guitar-like instrument he constructed in an attempt to play that which mortals cannot. As the final notes of the rite die out, he takes over.

The Bonny Harp

"Now I have made that, at least, true."
Aspects: Heart12, Grail12; Deceiver
Temptations: Heart10, Moth2, Knock4

  Summon a graceful Name of the Worm Funktastic:
  She once was as free as a bird; Heart will quicken the marrow in her bones, and a touch of Moth will remind her of her desire for wings.
  The harp-strings quiver when she is summoned, and even now, she sings to us of the love between siblings.

The Queen of Carpentras

She no longer sings, but her mouth still opens to music.
Aspects: Moth12, Grail12; Deceiver
Temptations: Moth10, Heart2, Knock4

  Summon a shattered Name of the Worm Funktastic:
  There were punishments handed down on the one who would have shattered the Mottled Heart. Moth will draw her to us, but we will need some Heart to give her vitality.
  With her glassy eyes, the right jaw hanging by only a few scraps of tendon, she limps towards us.


The Fansus

The Worm Funktastic lurks within the Foundations, serenading the Unending Worm with its songs. When it desires more of an audience, it ventures into the Wood, where it tangles dreamers within its slime before dragging them back down into the Foundations. Those so entangled never awaken again, but they never have a boring moment. The Worm Funktastic always appreciates a captive audience, such as it were.

The Histories

  • The Alienist's Hostel
    • The whitewashed building sprawls over the land like a misshapen tick. Flickers of motion can barely be perceived behind barred windows. Considerable fortunes have gone into the maintenance of this den of misery. The caretakers refuse to permit visitations of their patients. We will have to break in.



  • Whispering Whistle (Moth4): It speaks of what could be created, with just a little more talent.
  • Vivid Violin (Heart4): Every note it makes sounds like perfection. Two together sound like cacophony.
  • Broken Bell (Winter4): Destroyed in a fit of passion; it will never play again.


  • Castaway Claws (Moth2, Winter2): Every 49 days, the Worm sheds its skin, and devours all but these hard claws. Some of the funktastic power of the Worm remains within them.
  • Stunning Slime (Heart2, Winter2): A shocking pink that ceases, yet does not cease.
  • The Beat (Moth2, Heart2): Do not drop it.